Unfinished Letter

Dear _______,

Last night I had a dream that I killed you. And it was so nice, because as I beat your skull with a crowbar, you screamed, and I can't tell you how helpful that was for my shaking hands. I was really nervous about it all, but for some reason while I was breaking your bones the cracking noise made me feel more relaxed. I was even able to whistle while I was ripping out your internal organs, and it only mildly upset me when your spinal fluid spilled all over my new shoes. It was really my mistake for wearing them in the first place. I do want to thank you for taking so long to die, because the companionship made it much easier to go through with. I can't imagine how long it would have taken me to completely dismember your body if you had stopped breathing after I sliced open your stomach. By the way, you might want to check your diet, the insides of your stomach smelled terrible. I mean, besides the acid that lines the inside of it obviously. You bled out of course, it was only a matter of time considering how many arteries I had severed. I wasn't sure what to do with your body so I just propped it up on a stand in my living room. I regretted cutting off your arms, because I soon realized how great of a coat rack you would have been. I guess I figured I'd use the next one for that. Well, anyway, have a great time at your church's youth camp, see you in a week.

Love,

L.E.M.